WHY can’t you let it go?

WHY is it so hard to let go of your hurt?

Photo Credit: Unknown

Photo Credit: Unknown

  WHY can’t I let it go?

maybe because what I believed to be true and real was negated

and to let it go means there was NOTHING

so to let it go, means I had NOTHING

and NOTHING

is

hard to live everyday.

It is  just one more brick in the wall

of rejection

I cling to the hurt

because it is a feeling

and better to have hurt feelings

than

no feelings

better to think someone could hurt you

than to think you were not even worth that

love was a nest

and a new beginning

I gave my best

and now that it is gone

emptiness remains

and pain is my song

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5 responses to “WHY can’t you let it go?

  1. “…maybe because what I believed to be true and real was negated…” Sometimes you need to feel pain to be able to see the truth. A lot of things that hurt us are just in our imagination. As you said – what I believed to be true and real was negated.

    When you base your happiness on things that are not real, on expectations that have been taught you but not fully explained, then the pain is extremely hard to bear.

    We wonder around looking for that glimpse of happiness that seem to escape every time we get close…

    • I think there is truth in what you say…happiness is fleeting, in any case. The only thing permanent is impermanence. I think it is better not to have “expectations”–then, we are not disappointed. I do not always feel like the poem expresses–but it seems to have the power to resurface. I know there is more to life than this…I just think sometimes this is REAL also in a person’s mind and in mine also at times. If I did not trust, I would not get hurt…but, if we do not trust, then why live?

    • I read what you wrote again…Yes, you are correct. I did not see the reality until the Great Pain struck. I had a lesson to learn…once again.

      I want to believe in people. I want to believe love is real…but it eludes me…always. I do not see it coming—and the rug gets pulled from underneath my feet.

      Now, I feel numb…and angry…and not able to be with anyone in any capacity.

      • let me be honest with you. What i actually read is that you are saying that you do not trust yourself. You attract love that you believe you deserve. You can’t be with anyone because you don’t love yourself unconditionally and you do not allow others love you, so you settle. You settle for someone who proves you that you are right.

        You will meet that someone special when you are ready. When you are ready to be loved for who you are – all of you

      • Thank you for your honesty, Dace. But your perception does not create the entire truth. What can I say? I am not perfect at self-love…but I do my best everyday. I do love my self. IF I didn’t, I would not have thought I was capable of loving. I would not have ventured out from myself to love another. My greatest obstacle seems to be that I think the BEST of the other…I am very trusting…well, was…now I am much more hesitant in my relationships and perceptions. I have been beaten down enough to realize that there are people out there who are pathological liars and in it for only the moment. I am the kind of person who would give a thousand chances to someone—not because I am trying to get anything from them–but because I know what it means to be given another chance. This is what people do not understand…and it is NOT for lack of self-love. Also, I am a person of my word. When I say I am loyal, I am. When I say, I am faithful, I am. Unfortunately, others do not always mean what they say. That does NOT make me the victim. That does NOT mean I do not love my self. What it means is that the Other was dishonest. WHY does the fault lie with me?

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